Last time I gave you all an update, I was just starting a
new PiYo and Running plan. It was the perfect plan. To run for my cardio and
use PiYo to stretch and strengthen. As I started the program it was great. I
was feeling good and running more than I before. I had just come off of running
my very first ½ marathon and hoping to sub 2 at another race a little over a
month away. That was in May.
Well, things definitely changed. Near the end of May, I
started having issues with both my legs. I thought the problem was just my
shoes- they were worn down and past the recommended mileage. It’s strange
because I’m not exactly sure how the injury started. It seems like it was such
a slow progression but the pain grew and grew each time I would run. Let me say
that I felt GREAT with PiYo. I felt stretched and relaxed during each workout. It
helped build up my strength in my core and greatly improved my flexibility. I
really believe that it was a combination of increased speed, distance and my
shoes that created this monster of an issue.
Now we are at the end of June and I still can’t run without
pain starting from the very first step. This morning I woke up with an intense
pain behind my right knee and I can barely put any pressure on it. I can’t do
squats or lunges. Basically I can’t do anything that requires working my legs.
Even picking up weight to use for upper body workouts can get painful if my
feet aren’t in the correct position. I won’t even go into attempting to walk
post run. It’s awful and hurts for quite a while.
The truth is, I’m struggling emotionally. For a very long
time I identified myself with running. I would use running as a source to
relieve all of my stress and frustrations. It was MY time to unwind. It was MY
time to meet up with my friends have an adult conversation. It was MY time to
prove to myself that I was strong and I could do anything I set my mind to.
I can’t do that now.
My positive emotional connection to running has been all but
destroyed. I feel like someone just ripped the rug out from under me. I don’t
even feel like working out or eating clean. I feel like giving up and just
saying forget about it. GOSH, I just got this brand new fancy Garmin Watch for
Mothers Day specifically for running and I’m not even using it. I wear it every
day which proves as a constant reminder how injured I actually am.
This injury is hurting so much more than just my legs. My
mood has changed, my energy levels have dipped and I just don’t feel like
myself anymore. I feel unworthy. I feel like a lost cause.
I feel like I did 2 years ago when I started my health and
fitness journey. I recognize that I need to fix this. I realize that I need to
find something that will challenge me and get me back to that mental state of
feeling strong and confident. I won’t give up even though I want to. I won’t
let this take over my life.
I’m still trying to decide on the path I should take from
here. I’m considering doing the Ultimate Reset which a 21 Day detox program for
your body. With that program you can’t do intense workouts anyway so that may
relieve the pressure I’m feeling or at least help get my mindset right again. I
definitely feel like investing in the Reset would help get my eating back on
track since it’s been severely off and clear out any toxins which will boost my
energy.
Friday, I signed up for a Women’s Entrepreneurial
Empowerment seminar today that I’m super excited and nervous about! I’m going
alone—something I’d never normally do. I’m that shy girl in the corner praying
no on calls on her. But this opportunity just kind of fell in my lap and I
swear God puts certain things in your path so I took it.
That’s all for now—I promise to keep you better updated.
This next journey of my life will be more of a spiritual one for sure. It will
be “cleaning up” my internal struggles instead of physically challenging my
body.
xo
Jaclyn
